Month: December 2014

Heart out. Power within. {Uncensored. Unedited}

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You know those moments or times when you can’t catch a break?

Something great might come up, new opportunities and possibilities, new friends and loves that come through.  It’s uplifting.  Motivating and inspiring for many.  You yourself become inspired by your own actions and story.

Then all of a sudden, or slowly and steady, things change.  Maybe, you find that amazing job not to be what you expected.  You feel let down by possibilities that you know are gone.  Life becomes not only hard, but confusing once more.  Why?

I figured out a couple of reasons:

1.  What’s meant to be, will be.  The universe is good and frustrating like that.  Life happens. Shit happens.  And it’s always for a reason.

2.  You learn to love no matter what.

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That one is my personal struggle.  We become sad.  We feel a sense of hopelessness and loneliness.  Does anyone really get it?  How much we believe in ourselves and others? Only to be let down?  How is that fair?!  Just like that we become angry and spiteful.  I don’t know about you, but I literally start to say, “Fuck You! I will become amazing!  Beautiful and successful! And I won’t need you, or this job, or this money to make it happen!”

Then, I remember my past.  Then, I remember yoga.  Then, I repeat my beliefs.

My past reminds me being that bitch didn’t help to become happier or successful.  Shutting myself out from the world didn’t make me a better person.  What happened, happened for a reason, and for that I am grateful.  But, I know that’s where I should leave it.

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My yoga practice has been my rock.  It teaches me to breath.  That’s number one.  It gives me something other than money, family, men, and other nonsense to focus on.  Yoga reminds me of my beliefs.

My beliefs to find the good in others, including the hardest person, myself.  This world is amazing.  I am amazing.  Dreams do come true.  Love comes for an hour or a lifetime.  I am never alone because there is someone who loves me,..  parents, siblings, dog, a child.  We are human with basic needs.  And we all strive for the same thing, happiness.  The connection that brings us all together.  Which is once again yoga, the union. Which is the universe, and it has a plan for us.

I’m learning as best I can (I want to say fast and gracefully, but that would be a lie) that it will come back together.  Life goes on.  And how amazing to say that I am 25 years old, and as long as I don’t die tomorrow, I have my whole life to do what I love, be with who I love, and change the world, or just one life.

How will that happen?  I hate saying it.  It’s much easier for me to type that actually do, because it’s ACTION.  It’s the hunger and hustle.  What I needed and got over and over was tough love.  I hated it, and sometimes I still do.  But, now I am oh so grateful for it.  I made several changes over the last couple months, and did somethings that I know would have never crossed my mind only three months back.

One of them was give up my practice.  And, I think that’s the tough love I need back in my life.  Because I know now, it will speak to me differently, or at least I hope.  I want that discipline back.  The one that would make time for something that was good for me.  I want to kick my own ass in a new way now.  Not with deprivation, but with nourishment.  I didn’t take this break as a failure, but a reminder.  I am allowed to love how I want to love.  I love my practice with ease and perseverance.  Even though, I wasn’t able to do it by myself, I will gladly take the guidance from those who are there to teach.

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So let’s just remember.  To each there own, but I do hope yours is filled with the love and faith everyone deserves to have.

Like a warrior.  Heart out, power within.

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