Emotions, Vulnerability, Sex

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I was trying to wait it out until the month was over… I wanted an August recap!  No worries, I still plan on it.  But, something called to me a little sooner.

It may be the full moon.   I feel the need to share, speak, and be a bit more open.  I am not one for going out much (even though I wish I would) and this is my way for letting the wild woman out.  Ya’ll didn’t know about the wild woman?!

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Well, she is my aspiration, inspiration, and motivation.  She reminds me of the soul that lies with in me.  She’s quiet, fiery, gentle, loving, with a bit of attitude and craziness.  I mean, who doesn’t want most of those qualities of aliveness to them?

And yet, I’ve been hearing a lot of “Why?”  “Why did I go crazy?” “Why do I care?”  “Why am I crying about this?”  “When did this happen to me?”  Well, my dears, it happened when you got in touch with your feminine soul.  Why you bugging?!  When did it become such a horrible thing to care about someone? You opened your heart, tried something new, and shockingly(?) it didn’t fucking work out!  And yet, we still let another in.  We are brave and strong.  Own. It.

I always like to give it to the adventurous women and men.  The ones who have tried, loved, opened their heart, and most importantly aren’t ashamed of it.  Ashamed that someone may have taken advantage of us.  That we loved and cared so much, for someone who may not have felt the same.  Or, maybe did.  Why did that become frowned upon?

IMG_0147I noticed in our culture today there are so many rules.  Even I have fallen into that trap.  We can’t show emotion too soon, we might scare the one we want away.  We can’t ask for too much, such as phone calls and time.  Ladies and men, take note, time plays a big role, but honesty is everything.  Even though, some may say you never know when someone is being honest, unless they are the few you know to trust.  I’ll let you in on a little secret.  Follow your gut.  Listen to your feelings and not your head.  That uneasiness you feel when someone says something, let them fucking know!  Why can’t you be honest too?  For yourself at least.

Vulnerability gives you power.  How most woman and some men can open their beautiful hearts over and over and over again, you are beautiful.  You left it open for another.  People will bungee jump off cliffs, travel an unknown world alone, and move across country away from everyone they loved, but can’t be risk falling in love, and giving ourselves to another.  I find it disturbing, but I understand.

We want to make something of ourselves.  We must be stable, have jobs, money, and experience as much as we can, before we step into tradition.  We meet someone.  Care for them.  Love them.  And some how, an instinct gets the best of us.  We want children and a family.  To do what nature intended for most, we breed and raise, to empower another generation.  But, we can’t do all that without “finding ourselves” first.

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I am woman.  I feel.  I cry, a lot.  I laugh and snort.  I yell when I’m happy.  I yell when I’m mad.  I wear makeup.  I wear tight clothes and feel sexy.  I wear A-line dresses and feel pretty.  I listen to vulgar rap on my way to yoga.  I drink a lot of wine. I walk like there are three men walking behind me, but I only wish the one man I cared most for looked at me.  I want to feel loved.  I want to feel beautiful.  I want to be amazing.  And, I want to be with someone who thinks I’m amazing.  I want to have amazing sex with that person who wants to be with me, and my emotionally crazy soul.  Is that horrible?IMG_0270Casual sex is a thing. It’s common.  It’s mostly praised.  Yay to the fucking women who are ok with their sexuality.  We can almost keep up with all the testosterone in a man.  How amazing is it?  I wish you can tell me, because I never felt it.  Hit it and quit it.  Wam bam, thank you mam.

Sex, no matter what, is sacred.  Your soul deserves that.  Your soul deserves to find another soul to connect with.  To share something so intimate.  Love. Power.  Beauty.  These are real things and feelings.  You are beautiful when you feel beautiful.  Do you feel beautiful when you got attitude?  Or, do you feel beautiful smiling and looking into they eye’s of another?  You are worth it.  You are entitled to it.  Our body’s were made to create.  You can create and send out the most beautiful messages to the world.  Someone is going to appreciate you, and more people than you think already do.  For we are warriors.  We are caretakers.  We are givers.  We are goddesses of the moon.  IMG_0034Blame this on the wine and chocolate.  Maybe on the fact I have never held hands with a man, other than my father, for more that five minutes.  That I don’t even remember what it’s like to cuddle (apparently this is important).  I’m still young and learning.  I want to share.  Maybe spark something within another.  Controversy?  I’m usually not one for such things, but I must say as of late, I’ll say what I like and I will from the heart.

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yesenia

Chia Seed Pudding

Because it’s never too late/early to think about breakfast!

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I am practically Queen when it comes to easy semi-homemade recipes.  Trust me, I made sangria last night.  White super fruit sangria from a bottle and a chopped up plum.  Queen. So since I’m pretty good at it, I’m going to share it.  Share my strengths.  Why make shit complicated?  I kind of wanted to talk and ramble in a way, but I’m really just more excited about the food.  Life updates shall come soon enough.

Today I’m going to share with you a recipe from back in the days.  I’ve been making this make-ahead breakfast/dessert for years.  Since my organic vegan days.  Total health food.  Yes to progress!  We have our almond milk base, but feel free to use soy, rice, or organic milk.  Chia seeds which are amazing.  A power house of omega 3 fatty acid, the good fat found in salmon, eggs, flax seeds, and some nut butters.  The fiber helps for digestion and keeping us full, the healthy way.  And of course, we have the antioxidants and vitamins that come with every kind of plant-based superfood.  Cinnamon is a healthy spice I love to add in all things with a sweet tone to it.

It is once again, simple, adaptable, and great for busy weekdays.  As a healthy breakfast you may keep it simple with just 3 ingredients.  Spruce it up with fruit, sweetener (raw honey!), nut butter, or granola.  Seriously, options are always up to your creative minds.

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Chia Seed Pudding

  • 1 cup almond milk
  • 3 tbs chia seeds
  • dash of cinnamon

Combine all ingredients in a bowl or mason jar.  Cover and store in the fridge for 1 hour to overnight.  For something a little more sweet add banana and honey.  Other fruit, granola, and nut butters work perfectly as well.  Enjoy, my dears!

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I should let you know that I officially have an extra 15 minutes some mornings.  You may use that to snooze or put on that blush and winged eyeliner.  Regardless, you’ll feel like a total badass.

 

Black Bean Quinoa Salad Pt. 2

The joy of making a salad.  You can read a recipe and make five or more different versions after the original.  At least, that’s how I look at it in my eyes, and I want to do what I want.  So, the other day I wanted an easy and quick lunch to make a head.  This is what came about.

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As you know, I am trying to get back on track, food included.  I’m on a mission to spend less money on frivolous meals and take time to make my own.  Truth be told, I really don’t care for meal prep.  I make my salads or sandwich the morning of and make dinner from scratch, if I ACTUALLY feel like it.  I know, but I blame it mostly on my schedule. My schedule varies on a weekly basis, and honestly, as well what I feel like making.  Some weeks I live off rice and beans, other weeks I can eat out every other day.

A couple of salads like this a week can really do the trick though!

Fresh ingredients are important for a recipe like this too.  I’m talking either local or organic ingredients.  If you are in a warmer climate, local might be best.  You want to make sure your tomatoes are sweet and herbs are vibrant.  I used parsley, just for a little something different, but cilantro would be great as well!

I was going to add a little avocado for this recipe, but I would definitely recommend to add right before serving.  You want to make sure it stays a pretty green with a buttery finish.  It really takes this salad to the next level.  You guys should know, I am a firm believer of a bad ass salad.

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Black Bean Quinoa Salad Pt. 2

  • 1/2 cup quinoa (uncooked)
  • 1 can black beans
  • 2 tomatoes
  • 1/3 cup parsley chopped
  • 1 tbs olive oil
  • 2 tbs apple cider vinegar
  • pinch of salt

To prepare.

Cook quinoa accordingly.  Set aside and let cool. Rinse black beans out of the can and add to quinoa.  Dice both tomatoes into thick chunks.  All together you can add the tomatoes, parsley, olive oil, vinegar, and salt.  Fold all ingredients together and enjoy!

Makes about 2 or 3 servings.  Keep refrigerated for a week.

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And I did the math… To make a batch of this salad can come out to about $7 tops, including the avocado.  With fresh more sustainable ingredients lasting for a week.  I think that tops a single serving for the same price.

Let me tell you about that healthy living with a budget, baby ;)

PS.  Because this really was a meal prep, excuse the poor lighting and multiple settings.  Sunday night and lunch Monday morning were still delicious!

For more or similar recipes, check out my salad from last year!

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Getting Back on My Mat

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No matter what it takes.

With everything that has been occurring around me and the changes that have taken place within me, the one that has been affected the most is my yoga practice. I wish I could say it has been a change for the better, but not quite.

For almost four years, I have held a more consistent yoga practice.  I loved to go to the studio and take my classes.  I would practice before and after the classes.  When it was beautiful out, I would take my practice outside, or keep it cozy indoors during the winter.  Even when times where tough (read: I was broke), I would make it a point to always practice in the morning. When I would sleep in at 7 a.m. (yes, that was sleeping in), morning samaskaras still took place.  At least three.

Now I can say my yoga practice is a whole two minutes.  In bed.  I achieve a full childs pose to downward dog, and maybe a few wind release poses.  My meditation is well, nonexistent.  I try… sometimes.  It’s so hard lately!!!

Should I go through my excuses?

  1. I just washed my hair today.
  2. I haven’t been out all day, I’m not leaving my house now.
  3. It’s raining outside.
  4. I’m bloated.
  5. I’m still full from breakfast.
  6. I’m hungry
  7. Maybe tomorrow.
  8. I don’t know/I don’t like this teacher
  9. I overslept.

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Lame.Lame.Lame.  Is that what you read?  I wouldn’t blame you.

These are mostly my excuses for not going to class.  The ones for not actually practicing at all are a bit more lame.

What I need is a “Get it togetha, sista!!”  I am a fucking yogi.  And no, going to class won’t prove that.  But making the effort and actually getting on my mat will.  That’s the best part.  You got on your mat.  You are going to practice YOUR practice.  Take what you learn on your mat, and put it towards everyday life.  BOOM.  Welcome to the life of a yogi.

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I guess this goes with any practice or activity.  To actually do it.  Take that 2 mile run to start.  Get that gym membership.  Try those new work out DVDS that really kick your ass.

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Seriously.  I noticed more than ever, it’s just about getting back on my mat.  I never understood that sitting in class, hearing the teacher state that.  I took my mat out of my trunk after three weeks.  After giving it a good cleaning,  I can’t wait to roll it out in a studio.  Yet, I know it starts home.  So what I really can’t wait for is to wake up at 6am and hopefully by 7am, begin my home yoga practice….  This is ambitious.  Although, even if I wake by 7, I hope to get some sort of meditation practice in.  Baby steps.  It’s only yoga.

It’s the yoga that keeps me active.  It’s the yoga that keeps me humble.  It’s the yoga that keeps me balanced.  It’s the yoga that keeps me motivated to learn.  It will always be my own yoga practice.

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where perfection does not exist <3

 

yesenia

Realizations Mixed with Vanity

Adjusting to your own prosperity ~ Danielle LaPorte

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I thought we can start with this.  I love it.  Because it’s so simple and so true.  Who knows your own prosperity, but yourself?

If you are reading my blog, chances are you are fortunate enough to read, own a phone or computer, and/ are looking for some sort of inspiration or update.  That right there is prosperity.

I can say that the last 7 months of my life have been somewhat life altering.  Whether it is my surroundings, such as the weather or people, to most importantly, myself.

There is no denying I am heaven with the weather.  Give me all the humidity and 95 degree weather everyday.  I’ve never felt so free being tan with my frizzy hair, while wearing minimal simple clothing. It’s amazing being able to dress myself in seven dollar crop tops everyday.

But, what if I told you my short shorts and crop tops gave me another sense of being? Even in the summer, I have always kept a sense of dignity with my clothing.  I haven’t had the all good experiences during the last few months.

As said before, betrayal and disappointment has been part of this, still amazing, time.  I say still, because so much more was figured out.  I’M STILL FUCKING ALIVE!  I may not have the “ideal” life for a 26 year old woman, but I can say have my own life as a 26 year old healthy living, yoga loving, swearing woman.  Have I changed?  Yes and no.

I’m still on this blog I started almost three years ago.  I’m still working, now full-time, at the same job I started almost 5 years ago.  I love my lemon with water and gargle my mouth with coconut oil every morning.  Yet, I am a totally different person at the same time.  I did not have one vegetable today.  My snack consisted of cheese and coffee.  I give more attitude and back talk, then most people would appreciate.  I have my breasts free and more skin showing than I ever had since I was a newborn probably.  I embrace it.  I love it.

Out of everything, I would change a few things.

I want to miss a day of lemon water because I had to sleep out in a different surrounding.  Maybe all the attitude isn’t necessary, no matter what fight I’m fighting, or what point I’m trying to make.  Although, I will say it is therapeutic.  Screw it.  I went from a good girl who looked for the good in everyone, to some bad “bitch” that didn’t mind any kind of attention. Look at my ass, because it will never be yours.  Look at my car, I pay for that.  Listen to me speak, because l’m still educated and alive.

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More has changed in my life than I thought possible.  It maybe what was predicted by the full moon close to new years, and continues to this new moon in my beloved Cancer.  Emotioal, sensitive, loyal, and as fierce as the water that flows through us.

I am still as back and forth as ever before.  But, I know few things for sure.  Stay cautious.  Love truly.  Feel everything.  Embrace your flaws.  Keep the animal within you alive.  You still have so much, so share that prosperity.  Share your soul.  I’ll work on it.  Want to join me?

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Till next time,

yesenia and organic cabernet 

Inspired By…..

Inspiration is something I know to be everywhere.  Even with this knowledge, I still find it’s hard see sometimes, even most of the time…

This is a draft I have had for over a month now.  That first paragraph (of two sentences) is all I got up too.  I decided to keep it as a way of picking up where I left off.  I would usually say start over, start a new, another beginning… blabla lala.  In reality, tomorrow I will still be going to the same job, living in the same predicament, and going to a hot yoga class that I now only attend twice a month.

Although, right now, as I’m typing and writing, I’m pretty fucking excited.

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“Just question if you still love what you once loved” ~ Danielle LaPorte

And so I did just that.  And I realized, I still love so much.  Despite the hardships, betrayals, curveballs, and disappointments, I wanted to say that’s not me.

I still find myself looking at food blogs, pinning beautiful food photography, reading up on the latest health trends, and treat myself to a green juice/smoothie a couple times a week.

I don’t go to yoga class 3 or 4 times a week anymore, but every other day, I still find myself practicing bakasana (crow) out of nowhere.  Then I say to myself I’m practicing savasana when I spend those extra five minutes in bed ;)

Experimenting with my look through hair, make up, and fashion,  It’s something I actually admire in most, and then pretend I’m a bit of a fashionista myself.

I think about writing in this little space of the internet I can call my own.  I say to myself “That would make an awesome topic!” And then, I don’t write anything….

So I am offering myself a change, step by step.  It’s not so much figuring out what it is I want to do with my life, but rather how the hell I’m going to do it.  If anyone will tell you, that’s the real struggle I face.  I couldn’t be more scared and happy to put it out there as I take a journey back.  Yes, I’m moving a backwards to help to move forward.  More yoga, more vegetables, more meditation, less laziness (I shall admit my faults), more writing, cooking, and passion.  I miss my fucking passion.

I’ll admit as well I’m a dreamer, that over the last few months I tried to step away from. But, I think I’m ready to pick it back up.  To pick myself back up.

My love and imperfection.  For all the beautiful souls that I know and do not know.

 

yesenia

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Embracing a Transformational Season

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So Spring is officially here.  I know there has been a mix of weather going on.  Here in the Sunshine State? Well let’s just say I got a bit of a Summer glow already ;)  I know the cold, and even snow, is around for some people, but now is the perfect time to recognize and embrace the small changes!  Longer days, prettier sunsets, and a little more green to come.

I wanted to try and incorporate a post about how to embrace spring in a more holistic healthy view and realistic bad-ass-self way.  So let’s try and do this, shall we?

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Now here is Florida, I must admit it has been Spring for the last month, borderline summer.  I am not complaining, but rather embraced it with open arms.  First and foremost, I definitely been eating way more salads and fresh veggies.  With local fruits and vegetables always in stock from the warmer season, their is really no excuse not to get the most of optimum nutrition from your meals.  In season for your environment is key to staying healthy during the year.  Your body wants the food the earth has naturally provided!

During spring the foods are lighter.  We are talking greens to help detox your body of winters extras still in the system.  How to do it?  Add more juices to your regimen.  You don’t need to go into full detox mode, but rather slowly, your body can get into a transformation on it’s own.  So, not just juices, but fresh greens, even chopped vegetable salads to get the full hydration and nutrition your body deserves going into the warmer months.

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Get active and get out there!!!

Not only will this help your body transformation, but your mind as well.  Join a gym.  Go practice yoga.  Go walking/running.  Make an effort to start your own exercise routine.  To be honest, this is something that I fell back on.  I am more of a foodie than a fitness person.  But I am allowing a little extra and time (and money) to the cause.  Our body needs the sweat to cleanse and get our systems moving again.  Going out and do that gives us that motivation.  What better motivation then seeing others wanting to kick some ass and fat too!

 

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Now, when I say get out there, I say that because usually the winter months gives us the perfect excuse to stay home more, eat a little hardier, and just get cozy with close family and friends.  I’ve been using this gorgeous weather in Florida to never stay home.  Semi amazing- semi dangerous.  But, moving on.  I love the fact that I can explore this state with the advantage of amazing weather.  I’ve been trying to get around in Tampa.  Since the city is so big, I usually have somewhere new to go, even if it involves just walking around, passing the river.

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For all my North Easterners, go down town, farmer’s markets, parks, NYC!!!  Ugh, what I would give to go to my local downtown or walk around the city for a couple of hours.  Crazy, you really do take things for granted that were once so accessible to you.  I really believe you can make the best of what’s around you now.

Warning: Beautiful weather may cause the urge to have too much fun.

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I feel as if this part is more for the summer or leading up to that amazing season.  Here in Florida, it already is beach and pool weather.  Sorry I’m not sorry.  The downfall of having heat so soon.  Damn, your girl did not have enough time to get bikini ready!  As of now, I am balancing the angel inside of me that is say, “Get your green juice on and coconut water.”  But, then I have this dormant party girl saying “Girrrlll, time for mojitos!!”  Do we see the dilemma?

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Although, I have no problem balancing the two.  Love a good green smoothie and a nice summer drank.  Ok, I’m going to stop writing how I talk.  If you know me, this is real talk.

Between eating a bit lighter, more sweat, and more social event, I guarantee your energy will go up and the pounds will gently come off.

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Part 2:  Transformation within the Universe

I chose to write this post now, because as of late I’ve become extremely into the stars.  I can’t help notices the “coincidences”  of what has happened in my life as of late.  From the moment they told me come January, I would be going through a change that will be life altering, to now where the planets have aligned to help me deal with something that has been very difficult for me… Relationships.

This Full Moon Total Lunar Eclipse, Blood Moon, will occur early in the morning on Saturday, at least for my Easterners.  The Full Moon gives off nothing more than pure energy.  The moon rules the tides, the waters.  As our body is mostly just that water, we tend to feel this energy, and can be mistaken for the acts of crazy’s that come about during this time.

Libra’s Lunar Eclipse, I’ve read, is about love and compassion.  With a relationship with a loved one that has been a bit estrange and difficult,  to even the intimate ones that have been a bit confusing.  We must move forward, and respond with nothing more than understanding and an open heart.  Even if it’s HARD.  To be honest, writing this helps me realize what I need to do and where I need to direct my energy.

So whilst, you don’t spend too much of your energy on relationships that don’t seem to be all there, focus it on your creativity.  This is the Moon to get into the relationship with yourself, and pick up on something that has been brewing for quite a while.  I know for myself, I’ve been having a hard time with just that as well.  I may not know exactly where I’m heading, I can only try to stay on track on where I believe I want to go, a journey through wellness and adventure.

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Transformation from the inside out….

P.S.  Sometimes a smile, even when your upset, helps the cause.  Dress how you want to feel, that helps as well.  Even when going through what may feel like the toughest time, put on some lipstick or get a fresh cut, and get the fuck out there!!

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